THIRSTMILLION
Please don’t hold the wall…and fix your shoe because when Thirstmillion smells weakness for even a second he becomes Sher Khan the tiger and you have a few bare necessities up your skirt and shirt he wants. 

Now we can’t be completely mad. Thirstmillion was headed to the bathroom, ever the opportunist when he saw her stop to take toilet paper off her shoe and seconds later saw her breasts in that see through v cut shirt all you ladies like to wear and piercings showing, he had to try to get in her Fertile Crescent.

You w/ all those curves, Thirstmillion w/o no brakes, your homegirl w/ just enough of a see through element to her leggings where he can see her risqué tattoo…he’s Simba learning to pounce. 

But he failed to do the math. He should’ve known this didn’t add up. Why would these two bad ladies just be lingering by the bathrooms when they can be leeching off of bottles in someone’s section? Because they were waiting for their larger friend to finish in the bathroom. 

Enters the heavy duty cutie. Breasts all mashed up in the cami trying to draw attention away from her humongous hind legs. Pulling out all the tricks; you know the blazer and the thick waist belt. Not too fat where you’re medically concerned but big enough to be an OT on an NFL practice squad running lead block. So she puts her plush hand against the wall, the kind of fat hand that has those indentations where the knuckles should be. 

Where you should’ve called the audible you’re now intercepted and you have a choice to make…how many drinks will it take you to leave with her? She’s above .500 you haven’t won a game yet Thirstmillion. #thirstmillion #art #thirsttrap #illustration #thickgirls #drawing #sketch

Please don’t hold the wall…and fix your shoe because when Thirstmillion smells weakness for even a second he becomes Sher Khan the tiger and you have a few bare necessities up your skirt and shirt he wants.

Now we can’t be completely mad. Thirstmillion was headed to the bathroom, ever the opportunist when he saw her stop to take toilet paper off her shoe and seconds later saw her breasts in that see through v cut shirt all you ladies like to wear and piercings showing, he had to try to get in her Fertile Crescent.

You w/ all those curves, Thirstmillion w/o no brakes, your homegirl w/ just enough of a see through element to her leggings where he can see her risqué tattoo…he’s Simba learning to pounce.

But he failed to do the math. He should’ve known this didn’t add up. Why would these two bad ladies just be lingering by the bathrooms when they can be leeching off of bottles in someone’s section? Because they were waiting for their larger friend to finish in the bathroom.

Enters the heavy duty cutie. Breasts all mashed up in the cami trying to draw attention away from her humongous hind legs. Pulling out all the tricks; you know the blazer and the thick waist belt. Not too fat where you’re medically concerned but big enough to be an OT on an NFL practice squad running lead block. So she puts her plush hand against the wall, the kind of fat hand that has those indentations where the knuckles should be.

Where you should’ve called the audible you’re now intercepted and you have a choice to make…how many drinks will it take you to leave with her? She’s above .500 you haven’t won a game yet Thirstmillion. #thirstmillion #art #thirsttrap #illustration #thickgirls #drawing #sketch

It’s much disputed whether angels have wings. 

Many feel the bible never mentions angels having wings and mentions angels appearing solely in the image of men, not women. 

Reading through the texts I agree. All I know is these creatures are beautiful and to be appreciated. 

God made women perfectly. He put Adam to sleep so he wouldn’t interfere like “yo God add a bit more…” Adam woke up completely attracted to this woman. Perhaps the first morning wood, who knows. 

God made women perfectly built to attract a man. To complete a man. Made us to fit together to complete the cipher. Our Knowledge plus your Wisdom to bring forth understanding. 

Women are dope. My woman is dope (and not picture here these are random mental depictions). Work is the opposite of dope. Fin.

It’s much disputed whether angels have wings.

Many feel the bible never mentions angels having wings and mentions angels appearing solely in the image of men, not women.

Reading through the texts I agree. All I know is these creatures are beautiful and to be appreciated.

God made women perfectly. He put Adam to sleep so he wouldn’t interfere like “yo God add a bit more…” Adam woke up completely attracted to this woman. Perhaps the first morning wood, who knows.

God made women perfectly built to attract a man. To complete a man. Made us to fit together to complete the cipher. Our Knowledge plus your Wisdom to bring forth understanding.

Women are dope. My woman is dope (and not picture here these are random mental depictions). Work is the opposite of dope. Fin.

5.5 in girls, ass is off the hook, Esmerelda bout to lose the chancleta off her foot. 

Well at least that’s the plan when Thirstmillion walks by his local Dominican salon and sees the body on the women in there. 

Makes no difference to Thirstmillion platanos or collard greens he just wants to get in between. Is it the pernil or the chicharron? The mangu or the mofongo that has her walking around in her AirMax 95s built como una goddess? 

All Thirstmillion knows is he’s about to go get his doobie popping and ask if for $10 will someone wash & set that thing out for him. 

#thirstmillion #thirsttrap #booty #dominican #comic #drawing #sketch #illustration

5.5 in girls, ass is off the hook, Esmerelda bout to lose the chancleta off her foot.

Well at least that’s the plan when Thirstmillion walks by his local Dominican salon and sees the body on the women in there.

Makes no difference to Thirstmillion platanos or collard greens he just wants to get in between. Is it the pernil or the chicharron? The mangu or the mofongo that has her walking around in her AirMax 95s built como una goddess?

All Thirstmillion knows is he’s about to go get his doobie popping and ask if for $10 will someone wash & set that thing out for him.

#thirstmillion #thirsttrap #booty #dominican #comic #drawing #sketch #illustration

Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future and every Thirstmillion…well that’s complicated. 

See you can be in God’s favor even when you aren’t obedient to His word. Grace is Him giving even though you don’t deserve it. Mercy is Him withholding what you truly DO deserve. That’s where Thirstmillion comes in, walking (or at least he was) only by the Mercy of God. 

Everything you want isn’t meant for you. Some things God keeps from you because it is not ordained for your life no matter how bad you THINK you need it. Thirstmillion thought he needed those panties in Miami on his end of summer trip. What he didn’t need was that woman’s bf chasing him out the room and nearly killing him. So when he was running along the beach, half dressed, missing one foamposite, excited that he touched the hem of her boy shorts…the whole ordeal nearly took him out. 

But Black, Adidas sandal wearing almost looks like Black Thought of The Roots, seashell on the end of that ONE dreadlock, Jesus saved his life. Adidas flip flip footprints in the sand. Where there were once two sets of footprints there is now only one. #thirstmillion #blackJesus #illustration #thirsttrap #nike #igsneakercommunity #igart check zandrewsomething.tumblr.com for more Thirstmillion

Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future and every Thirstmillion…well that’s complicated.

See you can be in God’s favor even when you aren’t obedient to His word. Grace is Him giving even though you don’t deserve it. Mercy is Him withholding what you truly DO deserve. That’s where Thirstmillion comes in, walking (or at least he was) only by the Mercy of God.

Everything you want isn’t meant for you. Some things God keeps from you because it is not ordained for your life no matter how bad you THINK you need it. Thirstmillion thought he needed those panties in Miami on his end of summer trip. What he didn’t need was that woman’s bf chasing him out the room and nearly killing him. So when he was running along the beach, half dressed, missing one foamposite, excited that he touched the hem of her boy shorts…the whole ordeal nearly took him out.

But Black, Adidas sandal wearing almost looks like Black Thought of The Roots, seashell on the end of that ONE dreadlock, Jesus saved his life. Adidas flip flip footprints in the sand. Where there were once two sets of footprints there is now only one. #thirstmillion #blackJesus #illustration #thirsttrap #nike #igsneakercommunity #igart check zandrewsomething.tumblr.com for more Thirstmillion

Clappers to the front. We’ve all seen em. The group of chicks doin the circle twerk all by their lonesome. Every song is their song. And as the alcohol twerks on your blood stream to the beat of your heart you stare and surmise you can actually handle that. 

These chicks stretched before they hit the club, their short shorts and animal print leggings weren’t store bought they were earned like Pokemon gym badges. Don’t do it, reconsider. 

No clue what made you believe you could handle that twerk, you gotta know your twerk preparedness. This is formulaic. Velocity(Ass to Waist Ratio + Bass In The Song)/Thirst Level = Twerk Preparedness. 

Now Thirstmillion is standing here with all the warning signs of a crumbling foundation and an imminent knee buckle and he can’t hold his liquor. You should’ve looked at this stout #teamnatural woman before you and read her curl pattern better, this wasnt your speed bro. So when she comes out her shoes down to her puff ball socks an unleashes that 30 degree angle on you it’s all your fault. Down goes Fraiser! #thirstmillion #thirsttrap #twerk #twerkteam #art #drawing #illustration #sketch

Clappers to the front. We’ve all seen em. The group of chicks doin the circle twerk all by their lonesome. Every song is their song. And as the alcohol twerks on your blood stream to the beat of your heart you stare and surmise you can actually handle that.

These chicks stretched before they hit the club, their short shorts and animal print leggings weren’t store bought they were earned like Pokemon gym badges. Don’t do it, reconsider.

No clue what made you believe you could handle that twerk, you gotta know your twerk preparedness. This is formulaic. Velocity(Ass to Waist Ratio + Bass In The Song)/Thirst Level = Twerk Preparedness.

Now Thirstmillion is standing here with all the warning signs of a crumbling foundation and an imminent knee buckle and he can’t hold his liquor. You should’ve looked at this stout #teamnatural woman before you and read her curl pattern better, this wasnt your speed bro. So when she comes out her shoes down to her puff ball socks an unleashes that 30 degree angle on you it’s all your fault. Down goes Fraiser! #thirstmillion #thirsttrap #twerk #twerkteam #art #drawing #illustration #sketch

For Corporate Boys Who Contemplated Sexual Harassment When Photos of Your Coworker In That Pencil Skirt Aren’t Enough (disclaimer: this does not in any way reflect the illustrator’s actions at work)

A well dressed woman is hard to resist. Urges to take photos or gawk shouldn’t be though. You see Thirstmillion used to be that white collar guy in the conference room snapping photos of his colleagues giving presentations. 

He could’ve just admired from a distance while eating the bagels and tropicana OJ provided but nope, the mental picture wasn’t enough. Then one day his flash AND shutter sound go off. He got a pass the day “Pop That” blared from his speakers during an All Hands meeting but this was too much. 

So now we find him doing manual labor. Washing windows using his thirst bucket as a work expense tax write off. All these sexual harassment cases and job switches imagine how many W-2s he’s taking to H&R Block next year! #thirstmillion #thirsttrap #illustration #art #sketch #comic #drawing #igart

For Corporate Boys Who Contemplated Sexual Harassment When Photos of Your Coworker In That Pencil Skirt Aren’t Enough (disclaimer: this does not in any way reflect the illustrator’s actions at work)

A well dressed woman is hard to resist. Urges to take photos or gawk shouldn’t be though. You see Thirstmillion used to be that white collar guy in the conference room snapping photos of his colleagues giving presentations.

He could’ve just admired from a distance while eating the bagels and tropicana OJ provided but nope, the mental picture wasn’t enough. Then one day his flash AND shutter sound go off. He got a pass the day “Pop That” blared from his speakers during an All Hands meeting but this was too much.

So now we find him doing manual labor. Washing windows using his thirst bucket as a work expense tax write off. All these sexual harassment cases and job switches imagine how many W-2s he’s taking to H&R Block next year! #thirstmillion #thirsttrap #illustration #art #sketch #comic #drawing #igart

The Staring Relationship.

We’ve all done it. You enter a party, lock eyes with someone and instantly know they’re feeling you in the one setting where everyone judges a book by it’s cover. 

Summertime increases the frequency of staring relationships. Maybe because of the short shorts exposing all the slow roasted thighs on the ladies as the sun beams and locks in the flavor. Maybe it’s the unnecessarily tiny tshirts guys wear that make em look like John Henry fighting the steam engine as they strain and flex holding their solo cups.

Whatever the reason these relationships prosper and thrive in the summer. Not one to miss a party we have Thirstmillion engaging in a staring relationship.

See Thirstmillion walked in with his bottle of liquor (no cheap stuff for the guests so he could get points) and immediately locked eyes with this chick. As the cookout went on so did the drinking and Thirstmillion just had to have her.

That’s the problem, staring relationships have a set of standards and codes. There’s like Robert’s Rules for keeping order in a staring relationship. Thirstmillion and his unbounded thirst know no rules. 

He’s been drinking and maybe it’s that messy bun on her head, edges sweating profusely. Perhaps it’s how all her lady parts are just dangling, short shorts exposing thigh meats glistening in a mist of OFF bug spray and slow cooked lust. Possibly it’s the way she lifts her red cup to her red lips after a bite of that burger quenching and thirst and increasing her fade. Whatever it is, this golden goddess standing by the grill gleaming is something Thirstmillion must have.

Now this is where your friends usually come in. You lean in, tell them your plan of action and hold a clandestine predatory conversation. Problem here is that Thirstmillion is thirsty. There’s no room for being furtive in a thirsty situation. He has no couth and he’s drunk. Thirstmillion can’t hold his liquor and his homeboys they can’t control him. So as Thirstmillion stares at this woman way longer than the 6 second threshold he visibly mouths “yeah son her right there, I need it. Ima go at it HARD man.” And then he broke rule 1: Don’t Point. Talk to your boys, make eye contact, smile a bit but you. do. not. point. 

His friends should’ve stopped him but by that time they had drank a lot and partook of the Devil’s lettuce so much that they cannot properly navigate the situation.

So now the woman is petrified, seeing the wild look in Thirstmillion’s eye as if he’s Simba on his pounce lesson. Every time Thirstmillion motions towards her or passes her at the party on his way to get the Sweet Baby Ray’s she flat out cringes. Even worse she’s now told her friends so the legend of the party creep is circulating. Where you were once the interesting guy who brought awesome liquor you’re now akin to the guy under the bridge raping people on SVU. Thirstmillion can’t win for losing. 

Summer is a marathon and being known as the creepy guy at the cookouts will surely follow Thirstmillion to Labor Day. He might as well start buying cardigans for the fall early and get a head start on reinventing himself before the equinox. 
#thirstmillion #art #drawing #illustration #igartist #sketch #summertime #thirsttrap

The Staring Relationship.

We’ve all done it. You enter a party, lock eyes with someone and instantly know they’re feeling you in the one setting where everyone judges a book by it’s cover.

Summertime increases the frequency of staring relationships. Maybe because of the short shorts exposing all the slow roasted thighs on the ladies as the sun beams and locks in the flavor. Maybe it’s the unnecessarily tiny tshirts guys wear that make em look like John Henry fighting the steam engine as they strain and flex holding their solo cups.

Whatever the reason these relationships prosper and thrive in the summer. Not one to miss a party we have Thirstmillion engaging in a staring relationship.

See Thirstmillion walked in with his bottle of liquor (no cheap stuff for the guests so he could get points) and immediately locked eyes with this chick. As the cookout went on so did the drinking and Thirstmillion just had to have her.

That’s the problem, staring relationships have a set of standards and codes. There’s like Robert’s Rules for keeping order in a staring relationship. Thirstmillion and his unbounded thirst know no rules.

He’s been drinking and maybe it’s that messy bun on her head, edges sweating profusely. Perhaps it’s how all her lady parts are just dangling, short shorts exposing thigh meats glistening in a mist of OFF bug spray and slow cooked lust. Possibly it’s the way she lifts her red cup to her red lips after a bite of that burger quenching and thirst and increasing her fade. Whatever it is, this golden goddess standing by the grill gleaming is something Thirstmillion must have.

Now this is where your friends usually come in. You lean in, tell them your plan of action and hold a clandestine predatory conversation. Problem here is that Thirstmillion is thirsty. There’s no room for being furtive in a thirsty situation. He has no couth and he’s drunk. Thirstmillion can’t hold his liquor and his homeboys they can’t control him. So as Thirstmillion stares at this woman way longer than the 6 second threshold he visibly mouths “yeah son her right there, I need it. Ima go at it HARD man.” And then he broke rule 1: Don’t Point. Talk to your boys, make eye contact, smile a bit but you. do. not. point.

His friends should’ve stopped him but by that time they had drank a lot and partook of the Devil’s lettuce so much that they cannot properly navigate the situation.

So now the woman is petrified, seeing the wild look in Thirstmillion’s eye as if he’s Simba on his pounce lesson. Every time Thirstmillion motions towards her or passes her at the party on his way to get the Sweet Baby Ray’s she flat out cringes. Even worse she’s now told her friends so the legend of the party creep is circulating. Where you were once the interesting guy who brought awesome liquor you’re now akin to the guy under the bridge raping people on SVU. Thirstmillion can’t win for losing.

Summer is a marathon and being known as the creepy guy at the cookouts will surely follow Thirstmillion to Labor Day. He might as well start buying cardigans for the fall early and get a head start on reinventing himself before the equinox.
#thirstmillion #art #drawing #illustration #igartist #sketch #summertime #thirsttrap

Train up a child in the way he should thirst, and he shall never depart from it.

Thirstmillion origins. This is a nature v. nurture thing. Some behaviors are influenced by the environment. With baby sitters in camis with supple…titty meats (to borrow a term from the late Patrice O’Neal) around Thirstsito from such a young age you’d expect him to grow up just a tad bit thirsty. 

You see all those times baby Thirstmillion, with his faint mustache nestled against your bosom, grabbed for your left breast not for milk but for pleasure and you laughed…that was a learned habit that you perpetuated. 

You could’ve smacked his hand. Instead you smiled. You know one thing that every culture has? Smiling. It’s universal. So you send signals to baby Thirstmillion that a reach for that tender tit brings you joy and well…it’s something that has become engrained decades later. 

So don’t judge Thirstmillion got singing “I know girls love Beyonce. Girls like when babies grab boobies. Girls hate when men act real thirsty. Damnit man girls are confusing.” You put lustiness all in his damn brain and UOENO. #thirstmillion #thirsttrap #comic #cartoon #art #instaart #sketch #illustration #drawing

Train up a child in the way he should thirst, and he shall never depart from it.

Thirstmillion origins. This is a nature v. nurture thing. Some behaviors are influenced by the environment. With baby sitters in camis with supple…titty meats (to borrow a term from the late Patrice O’Neal) around Thirstsito from such a young age you’d expect him to grow up just a tad bit thirsty.

You see all those times baby Thirstmillion, with his faint mustache nestled against your bosom, grabbed for your left breast not for milk but for pleasure and you laughed…that was a learned habit that you perpetuated.

You could’ve smacked his hand. Instead you smiled. You know one thing that every culture has? Smiling. It’s universal. So you send signals to baby Thirstmillion that a reach for that tender tit brings you joy and well…it’s something that has become engrained decades later.

So don’t judge Thirstmillion got singing “I know girls love Beyonce. Girls like when babies grab boobies. Girls hate when men act real thirsty. Damnit man girls are confusing.” You put lustiness all in his damn brain and UOENO. #thirstmillion #thirsttrap #comic #cartoon #art #instaart #sketch #illustration #drawing

Please pray for the sick and shut in on today’s bulletin…because Thirstmillion is visiting them.

Lord Thirstmillion wants to be a Christian in his heart, but the devil keeps manifesting in his slacks. 

While visiting the sick Thirstmillion keeps trying to get in every nurse’s scrubs hitting the call button frequently so he can see who’s packing an ass in that thin baggy material. 

Not only is he hitting on nurses but he goes too far when he starts peeping at other people that share the hospital room while they’re getting dressed. Here he is thinking Vitamin D will cure all her troubles, but he needs to find a cure for his own thirstiness. 

Now the smell of hospital food alone would deter a weaker man. No, not Thirstmillion though. He’s more of an IV bag half full kind of guy, he sees it as nothing but opportunity. The whole “hey boo, I can give you a ride after you get discharged as long as you ride me with no discharge” line is absolutely disgusting and inappropriate but what else do we expect of Thirstmillion? #thirsttrap #thirstmillion #art #drawing #sketch #illustration #igart #instaart #funny #comic

Please pray for the sick and shut in on today’s bulletin…because Thirstmillion is visiting them.

Lord Thirstmillion wants to be a Christian in his heart, but the devil keeps manifesting in his slacks.

While visiting the sick Thirstmillion keeps trying to get in every nurse’s scrubs hitting the call button frequently so he can see who’s packing an ass in that thin baggy material.

Not only is he hitting on nurses but he goes too far when he starts peeping at other people that share the hospital room while they’re getting dressed. Here he is thinking Vitamin D will cure all her troubles, but he needs to find a cure for his own thirstiness.

Now the smell of hospital food alone would deter a weaker man. No, not Thirstmillion though. He’s more of an IV bag half full kind of guy, he sees it as nothing but opportunity. The whole “hey boo, I can give you a ride after you get discharged as long as you ride me with no discharge” line is absolutely disgusting and inappropriate but what else do we expect of Thirstmillion? #thirsttrap #thirstmillion #art #drawing #sketch #illustration #igart #instaart #funny #comic

The thirst will cost you but the clinic, well that’s free.


We find Thirstmillion making good use of his free time, the abundant free time he has after being fired from numerous jobs. He’s now volunteering at the free clinic. We’d like to think this is for a greater good and appeals to the humanist in him but no, we know better, this is…for the thirsty in you, this swab, means he’ll always stay true (to borrow a line from Shalamar). 


There are a couple things wrong with this situation. 1) He should most certainly be wearing gloves and “wanting to really reach out and touch the people” is NOT an acceptable excuse. 2) He shouldn’t be having some of the conversations he’s having. In no way is it appropriate to get this young lady’s negative test results and say “well I don’t even need to talk to you about condoms I can tell you’re using them”


Imagine all the inappropriate things that he has said about this tongue ring given 30 mins between mouth swab and results. While you may very well want to swab her cheek in other ways the sexual innuendo isn’t ok here…not to mention this just might not be the place you want to pick up women bro. 


We all understand it’s hard not to get too familiar when you already know half her story based on the name chain alone…but that’s a different subject.


You may want to say no to ratchet well…yahmeanery. Only YOU can prevent pubic fires! #thirstmillion #thirsttrap #comic #illustration #drawing #sketch #art #igartist #instaart #funny #knowingisbeautiful

The thirst will cost you but the clinic, well that’s free.


We find Thirstmillion making good use of his free time, the abundant free time he has after being fired from numerous jobs. He’s now volunteering at the free clinic. We’d like to think this is for a greater good and appeals to the humanist in him but no, we know better, this is…for the thirsty in you, this swab, means he’ll always stay true (to borrow a line from Shalamar).


There are a couple things wrong with this situation. 1) He should most certainly be wearing gloves and “wanting to really reach out and touch the people” is NOT an acceptable excuse. 2) He shouldn’t be having some of the conversations he’s having. In no way is it appropriate to get this young lady’s negative test results and say “well I don’t even need to talk to you about condoms I can tell you’re using them”


Imagine all the inappropriate things that he has said about this tongue ring given 30 mins between mouth swab and results. While you may very well want to swab her cheek in other ways the sexual innuendo isn’t ok here…not to mention this just might not be the place you want to pick up women bro.


We all understand it’s hard not to get too familiar when you already know half her story based on the name chain alone…but that’s a different subject.


You may want to say no to ratchet well…yahmeanery. Only YOU can prevent pubic fires! #thirstmillion #thirsttrap #comic #illustration #drawing #sketch #art #igartist #instaart #funny #knowingisbeautiful